Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
