there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
