It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
