I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
