So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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