how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
