my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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