? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
