it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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