so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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