im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
