we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
