Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
