i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
