Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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