are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
