I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
