You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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