Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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