Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize