I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
