Betty ford says i'm here all night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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