Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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