I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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