Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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