so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I CAN MOONWALK!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
