I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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