No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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