I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
