I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize