some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm like, not good at living.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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