dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
