There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They are going to name an STD after you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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