hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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