well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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