how hairy? two words: wookie tits
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
