VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
