Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
