i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
