Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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