Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
