Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize