I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
