Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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