your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
