dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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