She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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