I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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