if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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