i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize