On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sorry about my life...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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