I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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