i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My balls are so social today.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize