so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
