He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize