He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
