They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
