What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
