I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude i'm inner monologue high
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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