You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
