Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
