He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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