i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
