Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
