the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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