I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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