Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Boobs speak an international language.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize