her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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